Take Nothing for Granted: Interview with Author Stefan Falk
I recently went one on one with Stefan Falk, author of the new book Intrinsic Motivation: Learn to Love Your Work and Succeed as Never Before.
Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here? What experiences, failures, setbacks, or challenges have been most instrumental to your growth?
Stefan: I think that the most important experiences and setbacks I’ve had are the ones from when I was a kid. I spent most of my childhood playing by myself in my room. When you play alone, there is no one else to inspire you, show you what to do, or how to enjoy doing it. The magical thing about the human brain is that if you force it to do something repeatedly, it becomes very good at it. Playing alone for hours every day strengthened my imagination and ability to fantasize. Fantasizing is a wonderful ability to have. Fantasize about something you want to happen, for example, being the most admired leader, and you can make it happen in your mind. When it does, your brain generates the same feelings that it would if you really achieved that. But the most powerful thing about strong and repeated fantasies is that they create an urge to act them out; fantasizing will eventually not be enough - you will at some point want to experience the real thing.
My ability to fantasize became a great asset when I turned eight. My mom rented a piano as my birthday gift, and I fell in love with it instantly. I immediately started to fantasize about being a piano virtuoso. I spent hours practicing, probably 2-3 hours every day, much to my mom’s annoyance, since it sounded terrible. But I kept pushing myself, no matter how terrible it sounded. It was as if my fantasy helped me deal with the daily disappointment of not progressing very much.Then one day, a few days after my ninth birthday, I sat down at the piano for my daily practice. The second I started to play, it felt different, and it sounded almost like in my fantasy. I remember my mom coming to my room after I played the first song asking, “Was that you playing?!” The experience of becoming good at the piano by enduring the very painful experience of making immense efforts but perceiving little progress was a life-changing experience. It has served me well throughout my life.
But what happened next is probably the most decisive challenge that has shaped who I am and what I do. By the time I was ten, I was very good at playing the piano. I was invited to play at graduation and other school events. Life was great: I was doing what I loved, and other people seemed to like what I was doing. Well, maybe life was not so great. Once music took over my life, my grades began to slip. By the time I was fourteen, I was told my poor grades would put a ceiling on my college prospects. Thinking about the future, I realized I needed to improve at school and quickly. But how could I do that? Studying was so dull compared to what I experienced when playing music.
So, I asked myself the question that has made a world of difference ever since: What if I could identify what makes playing piano so enjoyable and apply that to studying? Gradually, I realized that it was how I mentally approached playing the piano that made it so lovable, not the activity itself. I made the activity lovable. Little did I know that I had just discovered intrinsic motivation, which has shaped who I am today.
Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?
Stefan: I hope that readers understand that intrinsic motivation happens when you feel challenged in a good way by a task or situation and that you have the power to define the challenge yourself if you put your mind to it. When you do, you will perform at your best, but also develop your skills, which your brain will reward you for with the fulfilling experience you get in these moments. Developing ourselves is, and has been, a central strategy for our survival as human beings, so it is logical our brain is built to reward us when we do.
I also hope readers embrace the fact that you will not be able to reach any goal, or fully enjoy anything you do if you don’t learn how to switch on your intrinsic motivation when you need it. There are several situations you should be able to switch on your intrinsic motivation: when you need to perform better, solve a challenging problem, improve your work relationships, or when you need to do something that is boring, scary, uncomfortable, creates stress and pressure, or feels impossible. All goals and jobs will eventually entail such situations.
The third important thing I hope readers embrace is what I mentioned earlier: the brain becomes better and better at what you push it to do something repeatedly. Therefore, you need to be very mindful about what you push your brain to become good at. If you start avoiding things or people you don’t like, your brain will become good at helping you avoid these things or people, but it will also grow its ability to identify more and more things and people not worthy of your time and effort. But if you instead repeatedly push your brain to identify the interesting and challenging aspects in the things and people around you, it will become good at identifying those aspects in more instances. This will make it easier for you to unlock your intrinsic motivation.
Lastly, I hope readers will find the book to be a practical and fun handbook full of proven methods for making whatever they do more fulfilling and exciting, and that it will be a great companion for them in their efforts to reach whatever goals or dreams they have.
Adam: What steps can anyone take to avoid burnout?
Stefan: I have worked with 50+ professionals who have suffered from burnout. In virtually every case, the cause was not that they had too many things to handle, or that they worked too many hours—it was that they were holding too many unresolved uncertainties in their minds. In these situations, it is crucial that you move into action and take charge of yourself:
Write down those uncertainties and describe them, whether they are private or professional, or both.
Create a simple plan for how you can work to make each item a little less uncertain, and,
Do something small every day that is based on the plan or plans you have drawn up.
Evaluate your plan at the end of EVERY DAY.
Look at the next day and think through what realistic accomplishments would energize you and make you feel stronger.
Also, mimic the thought patterns of superstars, who are insecure over-achievers: take nothing for granted! When you evaluate your day, do a risk assessment of situations for the next day where you think everything will go well. Think about what could go wrong? If that happens, how should you deal with it? This analysis increases your sense of control, which is important for stress relief.
Physical exercise is also vital. Fortunately, science shows that 30 minutes a day is good enough. And you can even break it up in 3 x 10 minutes of physical activity during the day. Taking a 10-minute brisk walk gives you up to 90 minutes of extra energy, provides you with greater ability to focus, and burns off excess stress hormones.
Adam: What are your best tips on the topic of motivation?
Stefan: The key thing is to use your mental energy to proactively frame the task when you need to boost your motivation. Frame it so it represents an interesting problem to solve. This will unlock your intrinsic motivation since you will feel challenged, in a good way, by the task. You can do this by defining an exciting outcome for what you want to achieve by thinking in three dimensions:
Time: Can you perform the task faster than you usually do?
Quantity or complexity: Can you increase the output when you perform the task - but without adding time?
Quality and benefits: What level of perfection in the end result would stretch and excite me, e.g., can I perform the task without making any mistakes? What is the feeling I want to have when performing the task? What is the reaction I want from people when they see me perform the task or see my end result?
Adam: How do you motivate yourself on the days you don’t feel motivated?
The first thing to do is to realize that this is perfectly normal. I suffer from low motivation at times every week. Accepting that it is normal, and not starting to dream about being in a place where you feel energized and motivated, is very important. Because you will only feel worse when you think about how far you are from that space.
Instead, based on your level of motivation, lower the challenges you take on to create small victories. Each small victory you make will pump up your energy and motivation. Small victories can be taking a different route to work, focusing only on simple tasks during the first hour or two, ticking off a couple of easy-to-do items on your to-do-list, calling a colleague you have not talked with for a while and check how they are doing. Also, helping someone else when you feel down is a great booster.
Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader?
Stefan: I don’t believe in talent or intrinsic qualities, but what do I believe in is leaders who understand what leadership is about:
Safeguarding the best interest of the organization: This is not about what is best for the CEO or the board or shareholders, but what is right to do to make the organization the best place for people to perform and develop. Leaders should have this as their main criteria for how they evaluate themselves, their people, peers, boss, etc.
Developing your people to not need you: Developing your people is your first responsibility, whatever else you have time to do is a bonus. This makes great leadership very similar to great parenting.
Always finding the silver lining: A leader needs to rise above typical human behaviors, for example, complaining, gossiping, focusing on what is impossible, blaming others, being territorial, playing politics, and backstabbing.
Adam: How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?
Stefan: The simplest way to become practical in your effort to grow is to identify role models who display tangible leadership skills that you want to hone. Reach out to these leaders, interview them about these skills - how do they prepare and perform them, how did they become good at them, and so on. Most leaders you reach out to will feel honored and most likely also offer some coaching or mentoring. In addition, teaming up with a buddy who also wants to grow as a leader is a simple but powerful way.
Adam: What are your three best tips applicable to entrepreneurs, executives, and civic leaders?
Stefan: Be a student of neuroscience and behavioral psychology. You can’t be an effective leader if you don’t continuously study what science tells you about how human beings function. Thinking it is enough to just have experience from leadership is like saying “I don’t know anything about finance, but I have cash in my wallet, so obviously I can become a CFO.”
People development should be the first priority, not the business goals. Focusing daily on developing yourself and your direct reports is in the best interest of the organization and your people. All organizations, no matter what the industry or business, must continuously strive to reach ever-higher goals to stay healthy and competitive. The only way to achieve this is to make sure its people constantly develop their skills and mindsets.
Establish a culture of fact-based meritocracy. A healthy culture prioritizes the value of the contributions that people make and makes that the criteria for judgment. Things such as your experience, how long you been around, how much of a slick-talker you are, or how well-connected you are in the organization, should mean nothing. A culture of true meritocracy pushes people to make useful contributions and to continue to develop themselves to do so.
Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?
Stefan: A senior partner at McKinsey once gave me the best advice I have ever been given: a person should always have more energy after they have met you than they had before they met you. This advice also denotes the fact that the greatest gift you can give another person is hope. Imagine the world we would have if everyone lived by this principle.
Adam: Is there anything else you would like to share?
Stefan: If you dare to dream and fantasize, refuse to accept boredom, challenge yourself when you need to, and practice your ability to solve problems by always asking the question “How big is the problem?”, you have four important ingredients in the recipe for achieving great things, while enjoying yourself and bringing your unlimited potential to world. It needs it!
Adam Mendler is an entrepreneur, writer, speaker, educator, and nationally-recognized authority on leadership. Adam is the creator and host of the business and leadership podcast Thirty Minute Mentors, where he goes one on one with America's most successful people - Fortune 500 CEOs, founders of household name companies, Hall of Fame and Olympic gold medal-winning athletes, political and military leaders - for intimate half-hour conversations each week. A top leadership speaker, Adam draws upon his insights building and leading businesses and interviewing hundreds of America's top leaders as a top keynote speaker to businesses, universities, and non-profit organizations. Adam has written extensively on leadership and related topics, having authored over 70 articles published in major media outlets including Forbes, Inc. and HuffPost, and has conducted more than 500 one on one interviews with America’s top leaders through his collective media projects. Adam teaches graduate-level courses on leadership at UCLA and is an advisor to numerous companies and leaders. A Los Angeles native, Adam is a lifelong Angels fan and an avid backgammon player.
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